The dreams are getting weirder, but fortunately they are not as violent as they once were. Last night the dreams all revolved around me driving a giant tractor around from place to place.
The physical addiction seems to be gone, but I still do crave a cigarette after meals sometimes. I haven’t smoked since last night, but I know that I will probably finish the pack that I have at home. But I may be done with it now.
I have now completed my first full week on Chantix. The dreams have started. They are not as violent as I remember. At least, in these dreams, I am not the one committing the violence. There has been plenty of blood.
Mostly the theme this time around is being trapped in a maze of some kind. Dreams of being lost, dreams of hunting and being hunted. I often have companions in these dreams, and those companions have died horribly in most of them, but not by my hand.
I’m sure the dreams in which I am the villain are soon to come.
Today is the first day on the full dose.
Since I started smoking again a couple months ago, nicotine has gotten its hooks into me pretty firmly again. Yesterday I asked my doctor to put me on Chantix again, as it has worked pretty successfully in the past to help me kick the addiction, even if a few months after I was off it I foolishly started up again each time.
When I took the pill, my first thought was, “Oh yes, I remember this.” The intense wave of nausea that struck me lasted for about five minutes, during which I fought to keep from dry-heaving. I would almost argue that this is the worst part about being on Chantix, but I still remember some of the dreams from last year.